I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
