so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
