I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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