the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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