your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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