im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
