Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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