i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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