hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
