you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
