i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
