Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
