If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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