No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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