dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
