How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
