so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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