question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
