hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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