Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
