Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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