Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
