he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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