i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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