you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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