More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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