Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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