We won't sleep together?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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