My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
