He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
did you just send me my own nude
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
