too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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