Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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