Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
