You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
