STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
