I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
