Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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