Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
