grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
