Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
