check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
