no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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