I think i sorta joined a cult last night
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
