There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My liver just broke up with me...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
