I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
