i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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