dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
