she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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