and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So much Jack, so little girl.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Drake has all the answers
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
