his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
